Welcome back to Connections with Eric! In this deeply personal second episode, I share the biggest challenge I faced after my separation: how do you stay present as a father when you’re no longer under the same roof as your kids?
If you missed episode 1 where I shared my journey from six-figure success in Texas to becoming Mr. Mom in Romania, this episode picks up where that story left off.
Keep reading below for the key insights and strategies from this journey of redefining what it means to be a present parent.
Table of Contents
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The Fear
When I first moved out after separating from my wife, one thought haunted me: Would my kids feel like I was abandoning them?
I grew up in a divorced family, and I remember how much that distance hurt. The every-other-weekend visits, the gaps between seeing my dad, it never felt like enough. I carried that pain with me into adulthood, and I was determined my kids wouldn’t experience the same thing.
So I made myself a promise: even if my wife and I weren’t under the same roof, I’d find a way to be there every single day. That promise shaped every decision that came next.
The Daily Reality
Now, let me be honest—a lot of people say it must be hard not living with your kids 24/7. Yeah, but you know what else is hard? Actually living with your kids! Ever tried getting them dressed and out the door before school starts? Sometimes separation starts to sound like a spa weekend.
But seriously, after I moved into my new apartment, my biggest fear was that my kids would be upset, maybe depressed or sad, that I wasn’t there all the time anymore. So from day one, I made it my mission to minimize the impact of our separation on them.
Here’s what my average day looks like now: My apartment is literally two streets away from where my ex lives. I wake up, do a little work for 30 minutes, maybe hit the gym or do some yoga, then walk over to see my kids in the morning if they didn’t stay the night with me.
Sometimes I make them breakfast, but usually I just hang out with them and walk them to school, it’s only about a 10-minute walk away. After work, I pick them up. Some days we go back to my place where we’ll play Mario Kart or do exercises together (I’m teaching my daughter tennis and my son how to box). Other days we head to the park, play ping-pong, or go to soccer or tennis practice.
If they’re not staying with me that evening, I bring them back to their mom’s around 7 for dinner, and I usually hang out for another hour or two before heading back to my apartment.
Breaking the Cycle
Right now, they stay with me at least two nights a week. But the important part? I see them every single day, including weekends. And honestly, that’s the thing I’m most proud of as a dad in this situation.
When I grew up with divorced parents, I saw my dad every other weekend and maybe one day during the week. While I get that it’s “normal” for divorced parents, it didn’t feel normal to me as a kid. So I wanted something different for my kids.
I want them to be able to look back ten or twenty years from now and say:
“Yeah, my parents were separated, but Dad was always there. He showed up. He made us feel like we were the priority.”
Making Them Part of the Process
When I was looking for my apartment, I made sure the kids were part of the process.
“Hey, I’m going to find a new place. Come help me check it out.”
They came with me, helped pick out furniture, and got their room ready. We went to IKEA and they picked things out for themselves (which, by the way, is a good cheap meal where you can also get an ice cream cone for about a dollar).
When I finally got the keys, I didn’t just move in cold turkey. We eased into it. I spent a few hours there with the kids at first, then eventually a night or two. It was slow, careful, intentional. Throughout the whole process, we kept reminding them:
“This isn’t your fault. We love you. We’re still a family, we’re just doing things differently now.”
Learning from Experience
My son is eight, my daughter is five. I was about eight when my parents split. I barely remember the conversations, but I do remember the impact. And I’ve carried that with me into how I want my kids to experience this.
The thing that hurt me most about separating was the idea that I wouldn’t be under the same roof with them 24/7. That if they needed me, I wouldn’t be there. And honestly? That still hurts. But the next best thing, the thing that makes it bearable, is being close enough to show up every day.
My Advice
If I had to give advice to anyone going through something like this, it’s this: live close by. Make it easy to see your kids every single day. See them before work, pick them up after school, play with them in the evening. If your kids are the most important thing to you, prove it by showing up.
Yes, I live two blocks away. Yes, I see them every day. Yes, I’m at their mom’s apartment almost every morning or evening if they’re not with me. Because at the end of the day, I want them to know they’re the most important part of my life. Just because Mom and Dad live in separate apartments doesn’t mean that changes my love and time spent with them.
Conclusion
Separation doesn’t have to mean abandonment. It doesn’t have to follow the traditional every-other-weekend model if that doesn’t work for your family. Sometimes the most important thing you can do as a parent going through a difficult transition is to get creative about staying present.
For me, that meant choosing an apartment two blocks away and showing up every single day. It meant making my kids part of the process and prioritizing their emotional security above all else.
Because here’s the truth: being a present parent isn’t just about living under the same roof. It’s about showing up, day after day, and proving through your actions that they’re your priority.
But what happens during those quiet hours when the kids aren’t around? In episode 3, I share what I learned about handling sudden freedom after separation and why dating apps became my temporary obsession.
For more episodes and stories like this, check out my complete episode guide. And fyi, if you didn’t know, I’m rebuilding my social life after separation — cocktail parties, game nights, even Timeleft. Want the playbook? Get it by clicking here.