Welcome back to Connections with Eric! In this sixth episode, I share the secret ingredient that turns awkward gatherings into unforgettable nights, and it has nothing to do with what happens during the party.
If you caught episode 5 where I revealed that nobody cares about your food or fancy cocktails, this episode dives into the one thing that actually does matter: the pre-game. The build-up. The work you do before anyone walks through your door.
This episode is all about lessons I learned from hosting 40+ podcast interviews, why most hosts fail before they even start, and how I use those same strategies to make my cocktail parties feel like you’re walking into a room full of characters instead of strangers.
Keep reading below for why the real party starts days before the first guest arrives and how a few simple emails can completely transform the energy of your event.
Table of Contents
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Most Podcast Hosts Do Nothing
I’ve been a guest on 40+ podcasts, and you know what 95% of hosts do before the interview? Absolutely nothing. They just show up, hit record, and awkwardly try to have a genuine and deep conversation with a stranger.
So when I started hosting my own podcast years ago, Innovators Can Laugh, I tried something different. I’d send my guests a quick video message before the interview, or play their favorite song when they logged into the recording studio. Suddenly, they felt relaxed, comfortable, even excited.
And that little pre-work? That’s the secret to making cocktail parties amazing too.
The Small Touches That Changed Everything
Back when I ran Innovators Can Laugh, I wanted my guests to know the show was different. That I wasn’t just another “tell us about your company” snoozefest. So I added a couple of small touches.
First, on the pre-recording form, I asked them their favorite song. Totally random, right? But on the day of the interview, I’d have that song playing when they arrived into the recording studio. And like magic, they’d start smiling. The nerves dropped. It put them in the right mood.
Also, a few days before recording, I’d send them a short personal video. Nothing fancy. I’d record it while walking back from dropping my kids off at school.
This is what I’d say:
“Hey John, excited to have you on the show this week. Can’t wait to talk about you and your business. Here’s a little clip of what the show’s like so you get a sense of the vibe.”
Easy.
But here’s the thing: these two simple touches completely flipped the dynamic. Guests showed up more relaxed, more open, and way more fun. And that’s when I realized, this idea works for cocktail parties too.
Because let’s be honest, nobody wants to walk into some random guy’s apartment in Bucharest without at least knowing if he’s a serial killer. A few pre-emails before the party? Boom, now you’re just the friendly weirdo with peanuts in a bowl.
The Pre-Party Emails
Before my parties, I send out a few emails, one a week before, another a few days before, and one the morning of the party.
In them, I include short bios of some of the guests. Just a sentence or two each.
Like:
- “Shelley used to be a professional video gamer and now channels that energy into strategy and problem solving.”
- “Amy’s a marketing pro who also started a belly dancing group here in Bucharest.”
- “Joe is a senior network security consultant who likes to interpret his dreams. Seriously.”
Little teasers like this make people excited. Suddenly they’re not walking into a room of total strangers. They’re walking into a room of characters. They’re curious. They want to meet Joe the dream guy or Amy the belly dancer.
And honestly, people even get a kick out of seeing their own bio included. It’s small, but it makes them feel like, “Oh, I’m part of the show here.”
Already In On the Joke
And that’s the key. You make people feel like they’re already in on the joke before the thing even starts. Otherwise, people are just standing there going, “So, uh, what do you do for a living?”
The pre-game creates anticipation. It builds curiosity. It turns strangers into interesting people before they’ve even met. And when they finally walk through your door, they’re not nervous or awkward. They’re excited.
The Real Lesson
So here’s the lesson: the real party doesn’t start when people walk through your door. It starts with the build-up. Whether it’s podcasts, cocktail parties, or even a wedding, the pre-game sets the stage.
Get people warmed up, curious, and engaged before they arrive, and the party is smooth sailing from there on.
Stop waiting until everyone shows up to create the magic. Start creating it days before with a few thoughtful touches that make people feel welcomed, excited, and already part of something special.
Conclusion
Great parties don’t just happen. They’re built in the days leading up to them through small, intentional touches that make guests feel seen, curious, and excited to show up.
Whether it’s playing someone’s favorite song on a podcast or sending teaser bios before a cocktail party, the pre-game is where the real magic starts. By the time people walk through your door, they’re not strangers anymore. They’re characters in a story they’re already invested in.
The lesson? Don’t wait for the party to create the energy. Start building it before anyone arrives, and watch how it transforms the entire experience.
But what happens when you take these party-hosting skills to a completely new city where you don’t know anyone? In episode 7, I share how I threw a cocktail party in Lisbon with complete strangers from LinkedIn and why sometimes the best way to discover a city isn’t with a guidebook, it’s with a wine opener.
For more episodes and stories like this, check out my complete episode guide. And fyi, if you didn’t know, I’m rebuilding my social life after separation through cocktail parties, game nights, and even Timeleft. Want the playbook? Get it by clicking here.