Welcome back to Connections with Eric! In this ninth episode, I share the 85-year Harvard study on happiness that completely shifted my priorities from career wins and money to relationships and being a present father.
If you caught episode 8 where I broke down why most parties fail and the simple design fixes that make them work, this episode zooms out to answer the bigger question: why does any of this connection stuff even matter?
This episode is all about the longest study on happiness ever conducted, why relationships beat money and career every single time, and how I’ve been testing this research myself through annual guys’ trips, cocktail parties, and being more intentional about staying close to the people who matter.
Keep reading below for why career wins don’t hug you when you’re down, the disastrous mountain biking trip that brought my friends closer, and what really keeps us healthy and happy for the long haul.
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What I Used to Think Mattered
When I was younger, I thought the game was about career wins and financial freedom. And don’t get me wrong, those things matter. But now? They don’t even crack my top three list of priorities. What matters most is being a great dad and staying close with the people who make me feel alive.
That shift didn’t happen overnight. It came from reading a Harvard study on happiness, and then testing it myself through annual trips with my best friends, hosting cocktail parties, and being more intentional about the people I keep close.
The 85-Year Harvard Study
Back in 1938, Harvard launched what’s now the longest study ever done on happiness. For 85 years they followed 724 people, asking them everything about their health, careers, families, and life choices. And here’s the big finding: it’s not money, it’s not career achievement, it’s not even exercise or diet. What keeps us healthier and happier the longest are relationships.
That one hit me hard. Because I’ve chased the other stuff, career wins, promotions, building things. And sure, those are good. But they don’t hug you when you’re down. They don’t show up at your kid’s birthday party. They don’t pick up the phone when you need someone to vent to.
The Annual Guys’ Trip
So after reading that study, I started making changes. One of the biggest was organizing an annual guys’ trip. Nothing fancy, just a weekend adventure with my closest friends. And the adventures have been, let’s call them memorable.
Like the time we thought mountain biking in Colorado was a good idea. Only problem? I trained in Houston, flat as a pancake. Two hours into the ride, my buddy Michael breaks his collarbone, I crack a rib, and suddenly the whole trip turns into an episode of Jackass: Middle-Aged Edition.
But here’s the thing: even that disaster brought us closer. We still laugh about it. And every year, we find some new adventure, whitewater rafting in New York, dune buggies in Vegas, skiing in Iceland. These trips became the glue. Without them, honestly, we probably wouldn’t see each other.
Why I Host Cocktail Parties
That same study is also why I host cocktail parties. They’re not just about meeting new people. They’re about building a social circle and then inviting close friends into that circle, deepening the ties. And I’ll tell you, it works. When you see the same faces, when you laugh together, when you swap stories, it’s like fertilizer for relationships.
I’ve even tried smaller things, like sending voice notes and quick check-in texts. A buddy of mine here in Bucharest is amazing at that, he calls, he sends handwritten cards, and it makes you feel like you matter.
The Real Priority
So look, career, money, achievements, they’re fine. But if you ignore your relationships, you pay for it later. The science is clear. The people who flourish are the ones who put in the time with the people they love.
And for me, right now, that means being the best dad I can be, and then making damn sure I keep showing up for my friends. Because that’s the stuff that lasts.
Conclusion
The longest study on happiness ever conducted revealed something simple but profound: relationships matter more than anything else. Not money, not career success, not even health habits. The quality of our close relationships is the strongest predictor of long-term happiness and health.
That research didn’t just stay in a book for me. It became a blueprint. Annual trips with my best friends, even when they end in broken collarbones. Cocktail parties designed to deepen connections. Voice notes and check-ins to stay close with people who matter.
The lesson? All the career wins and financial freedom in the world won’t hug you when you’re down or show up at your kid’s birthday party. Invest in your relationships like your happiness depends on it, because according to 85 years of research, it does.
But knowing relationships matter is one thing. Actually getting people to engage and connect at your events? That’s where icebreakers come in. In episode 10, I share why most people think icebreakers are cheesy but they’re actually a cheat code for engagement, and how to run them without turning your party into group therapy. Episode 10 drops next Wednesday!
For more episodes and stories like this, check out my complete episode guide. And fyi, if you didn’t know, I’m rebuilding my social life after separation through cocktail parties, game nights, and even Timeleft. Want the playbook? Get it by clicking here.